Popcorn is fantastic stuff. It must be the only food we deliberately blow up before we eat it. In fact, next time you cook a BBQ try to deliberately make the sausages pop out of their skins and see who wants one. Not a pretty sight. Even if it were hidden in a bun you probably wouldn’t want to eat it. Why the discrepancy here? Popcorn is unique. You don’t just cook it, you destroy it, and then it magically becomes edible. Eating raw popcorn, on the other hand, is to guarantee at least seven hundred and eighty dollars of dental bills.

Wouldn’t it be funny if other foods were cooked to the point of explosion. What if you did the same thing to a banana? Can you imagine planning a quiet night in by saying “I’m just popping out to hire a movie. Why don’t you whack a banana in the microwave until it explodes so we can have something to munch.” Actually, I frequently overcook stuff in the microwave and it splatters everywhere. Rather than thanks for a delicious snack I’m scolded and asked to wipe it out.

I enjoy making popcorn at home, it is really easy, which is why I honestly can’t work out why popcorn is so expensive when you go to the movies. Maybe there is some kind of nuclear core powering those giant red booths. There could be an ultra-performance-nuking device specifically designed to pop corn at its optimum temperature. This would ensure the lightest, fluffiest morsel without risking the burnt flavour that can happen if you keep cooking popcorn too long after it has erupted. There is another one of the mysteries of this food, you destroy it to eat it but then you can actually ruin it by leaving it on the heat too long – there is a fine balance between destroying and ruining. I’m sure there’s a theory in there that could be used by the military if they tried.

Movie popcorn is in a league all its own, simply due to scale. Popcorn produced in the machines there seems to take on a life of its own, like a hive of popcorn that is greater than the sum of the individual kernels. The combined force that has gone into each little explosion, multiplied by the number of popped corns, is a concerning level of energy. Perhaps the expense at these venues is related to the need for extra thick glass to contain the morphous popcorn mass as it writhes and squirms, looking for some way to break free. Probably the attendant that scoops it out needs special training, too, to capture the popcorn in a cardboard tub and remove it from the collective consciousness in order to return it to a safe eating state. I guess in that light a few extra dollars is a small price to pay.
Posted by A.Ready at 10:42 PM 0 comments