Have you read Part 1?

Having successfully destroyed our old, rotten, decrepit pergola, phase two is preparation for the new one. Yes, despite the ongoing trauma of potential tetanus or broken bones, the DIY project continues. I have roped in a few mates, and am too chicken of the ribbing if I back out now.

Yesterday was spent digging holes. I want the pergola to go up, and yet I was instructed to dig down. These weren’t just little craters, either. Step out our back door and it looks like you’ve arrived at a long-drop toilet factory. Like any easily excitable DIY team, we decided at the onset of the digging to hire a power tool. We got ourselves a massive two-man-post-hole-digger. This doesn’t mean it dug a hole as big as two men holding a post, rather it was such a monster that it took two men to handle it.

The funny thing about many digging impliments is that they generally just disturb the dirt, rather than actually removing it. The two-man-post-hole-digger, from now refered to as the 2MPHD, had a massive screw shaped attachment on the bottom that supposedly drilled into the ground. This it did, amidst a cloudy fog of exhaust vapour and a noise that could be heard three neighbourhoods away. Once it had drilled the dirt, though, it all just kind of swirled around in there. As soon as we lifted the 2MPHD out of the ground the dirt all slipped straight back into the hole. I’ve also discovered this phenomenon using a spade, and it seems the deeper the hole is the less dirt will remain on a spade by the time it reaches the top. This is the ground’s natural defense mechanism to discourage civilization from hacking it up too much. It is frustrating to put in so much time and effort for such a little result. This phenomenon has been quantified by Mathematicians with the formula T+E X 0.001 = R. Strangely enough, this is the same formula banks use in working out loan repayments.

The other funny thing about building which amuses me on reflection (although didn’t at the time) is that having spent all day in the sweltering sun digging holes, the next day we returned to fill them up again. Each of the twelve holes now has about fifteen centimeters of concrete in the bottom. This is to sit a post on, which will then have concrete poured around it to fill the rest of the hole. Why not just dig the hole the precise size of the post to start with? Although having room to pour concrete does give an excuse to hire more power tools, bring on the cement mixer!

note the difficulties presented by this hole. We had to hire a small child who could fit under the step to do the work Actually, the step was put there later to prevent small children stepping out the door to disappear forever.
Posted by A.Ready at 7:52 AM 1 comments
Thursday, December 27, 2007